Well Xmas and new year came and which is fine by me
I did go to dragon boat racing it was ok but not sure if going back this week, the sport is OK, people were OK but there isnt a great deal to it other than technique.
We also meet up next week for our first session of the year.
I did go to dragon boat racing it was ok but not sure if going back this week, the sport is OK, people were OK but there isnt a great deal to it other than technique.
We also meet up next week for our first session of the year.
31 comments:
New year - new start but same old... Really Agatha - you could have written so much more....even a little bit more!!!! FF x
Hmm possibly I could have although it took me ages to write that, I really didnt know what to write, say, do or anything
Ok..so you didn't know what to say! Well, my thoughts - for what they are worth is - YOU need to THINK more!! But that seems really difficult for you, and I accept that may be hard. However, knowing that you dont communicate well, and knowing that you dont speak much - surely surely surely you must do one hell of a lot of THINKING? I know when I am quiet and not communicating that my mind is nothing but quiet - quite the opposite - its racing with a million thought. Talking is just passing on those thoughts. Its not complicated or difficult. But to help you on your way, how about you telling me what you wrote that you removed (which you said you wouldnt do anymore)? And then tell me what you did at Christmas, What you did at New Year, what you did when you went dragon boat racing. What IS dragon boat racing? Were there any 'nice' people there? Did you socialise (!!!!!) with any of them after? If you did, was it fun? if you didn't - why didnt you?
I'll be honest with you....I have had a pretty crap time since Boxing Day in fact with a lot of hassle with family falling out etc etc. Then my pregnant daughter had to go into hospital twice - but is now ok. Then my cousins 3 month old baby got taken into hospital on new years eve and is still really ill in hospital. Not sure yet what the problem is but its serious. With all this going on, I really felt I couldnt be bothered to read, let alone respond on this post. But then I got thinking that as no-one else seemed to I really should. And I also thought that every time you logged in you would be expecting something at some time from some one and I could almost see the disappointment on your face. I didnt want that so I made myself post a short comment. Im not blowing my own trumpet, but Agatha, if I can make the effort, surely to God you can. Your last comments have not fufilled that critera and you know that. So, if you want people to help you....please make a start by helpiong yourself. Your reply to this should be pages long!!! FF xx
Bloody hell sounds like you had a pretty crap time lately, hope it gets better for you.
My mind is always going ten to the dozen, just cant do anything with it and I honestly did nothing at Xmas and New Year, I just sit there waiting for it to pass.
Dragon boat racing is like sitting in an absolute giant canoe with benches in and you have to paddle. Its all about technique and not power which doesnt particularly compute with me but there you go. The people were OK and I certainly didnt socialise afterwards, why, didnt really feel comfortable in doing so.
I understand completey with other things going on and no posts\comments etc from anyone really, I think that sort of let me withdraw a bit and finding it difficult now to get back in the swing of it (not that I was probably ever in the swing of it) - I was thinking everyone must be off enjoying themselves (obviously not in your case) so I just went a bit quiet and maybe took the easy option.
Yea I know my last post and comments were pretty crap but I have no idea what to put down or anything really, thats the thing I do make an effort with it, well maybe not so much for the last one
as I didnt think I had anything worth saying
Bloody hell - I thought I had low self esteem - but you are way above me. Why in Gods name do you think that you have nothingof interest to share with us all? Please please make me one small promise - well small for me - massive for you. Go to your dragon racing again and go and have a drink with them all or at least some of them. You may actually find that you enjoy yourself. You can start off by telling them all that you are naturally a shy and quiet person and then you will find that someone will take you under their wing and chat to you. Dont say you wont be able to think of anything to say cos clearly you can. if all else fails and you are truly gulping for air, use the old tactic of asking them to tell you all about themselves - do they have any family? What do you do for a job? Where do you live? Do anything nice for Christmas? Got any holidays planned? Before you know it you will be deep in animated conversation. I would really love to chat to you on the phone you know - you WOULD chat - even if it was only a Q and A session. I can talk forever- So can you if you really want to. I promise you will get there. FF xx
Oh yes.....and you deleted again!!!!!! Bad girl!!!!!! x
Hmm - havent quite decided yet whether to go or not am in two minds, have to get my sport sorted only a couple of days til my deadline of having it all done and dusted....
Oops I did delete before, I wrote something that could have been taken two ways and thought sod it
Hmmm...still think you could write more... No actually, I KNOW you could! So when is this dragon racing on again - today? I really hope that you have decided or did decide (if it was yesterday) to go. I also hope that you mixed with the others. Tell me something Agatha (and if you dont like that name feel free to change it) do you have any friends? That is not meant in a sarcastic unkind way, its just a question. I myself have just a few close friends, with maybe only one or two that I would care to take with me to a desserted island (can never remember whether its one s or two!!!! Anyway, it could be a pudding island!!!) I imagine that you will answer the same or even that you dont have any at all. I will wait for your reply before I give you my thoughts on that one!!!! So, its Sunday....and what will you be doing with your day? And dont use the cop out line of "nothing much" cos I want to know exactly what you will be doing - even if its only washing your hair, cleaning the fridge or hoovering the dog - ok? I am home alone today, My parents were supposed to be coming but due to my dad having a bad cold they are remaining home. Hubby working, daughter from City staying at home and prenant one also staying at home. So I intend to use the time washing, hoovering and clearing out spare bedroom. Bet you're jealous eh?!!!! LOL. FF xx
Although i have not been commenting, i have been following the riveting life and times of agatha. However, i now know loads about ff and still know bugger all about agatha.
But i do know that unless things are happening behind the scens then she is never going to improve with out some discipline. How can such a short and uninformative post go unpunished??
And if they are happening behind closed doors then what is the point of the blog??
You see this blog makes me so mad, i have had to stop commenting because i get so negative and angry
Funny enough Katie the subject of the blog did come up in conversation, but we concentrated on the sporting issue, which I regard as rather important to Agatha's progress.
The written word continues to be a block, but we are discussing ways to improve that and I am sure that as the dreaded hairbrush landed yesterday there was an undertaking to work harder at it.
Afraid our friendly bloggers are seeing the worst side of all this, because in other areas progress is being made albeit slowly.
Still what with our session, the reason (and a good one) that Dragon Boating did not happen and a stirring netball report, the next few days should be fun!
My thoughts exactly Katie....and have to admit thats how I had been feeling pre Christmas and certainly post Christmas when I had so much crap of my own to contend with. To be honest I think Peter needs to make some input into this as peter you never seem to comment but dont mind firing a warning shot over my boughs by text that I feel the naughty corner is my permanent residence. However, you will be pleased to know that stick and stones and all that jazz apply so I really dont give a..... You asked for us to comment to help her along. Sometimes i feel that its an agony corner for everybody else. I agree totally with katie in as much as I know loads about her too but all I know about Ags is err mmm err - very little. Oh, i think she lives in essex and works in the City in Finance and is 30 something with no children. I go to lot of effort to give you Ags the chance to interject, keeping it for the best part simply a question and answer session, but pretty well all of my questions go unanswered. That isnt being frustrated - that is basically rude. We are quite prepared to help you but its a little like dragging around a paralysed extra leg. Pretty soon you get to the hospital and get it cut off. That wont help you any Ags, but it WILL happen if you dont pull your socks up and grow up and get real. Katie and I are not being unkind but if you are frustrated girl, imaging how the hell we feel? So please use us or lose us - and the same could be said for you Peter too. TBH I think it shold be you getting the caning at times!!! FF xx
Ooh how spooky Pete!!
Hmm I'm actually a bit pissed about this - I have never professed to be one that has any form of communication skills, yes its a problem I have, yes we are working on it, yes my posts have been crap lately, yes it did improve (slightly), yes it has slumped again and yes it hurts when I cant do a simple thing which others find so easy.
I sometimes have no idea what to say, I get confused - I talk myself out of writing things as I dont believe I have anything interesting to say or as you so kindly put it in my riveting life, I delete my posts sometimes as I think they are rubbish. Again that is my perception and something that I am trying to change as whilst chatting to Peter people are interested and want to know more. So no it didnt go unpunished.
So in response to your previous comment FF, no I didnt go dragon boat racing which is on a Sunday and nor did I interact with any of them. I dont have many close friends and I didnt do much on Sunday apart from drive to training and back again.
I didnt realise that this was such a drag and how angry\frustrated it makes everyone, but hey WTF what would I know.
The best solution for everyone - make the blog private so you and Peter can improve together and me and ff will continue to email in private.
I think it is time to cut off the leg and leave the two of you too it.
Ouch!! xx And thats ouch to cutting off the leg and ouch to your reply Blogger. But at least you wrote something - so it cant be all bad can it? I do believe you take the easy option though. You are more than able to answer a simple question so you could do that if you did nothing else!!! And to be honest, would you rather that I sat here saying you are doing really well which would be alke, or do you want and need to be assisted with improving? Cos I actuallly thought that was wahat it was all about, but as you said what the fuck do I know (and I mean me not you). Its up to you what you want from all of this, but if you want me to lie (and probably katie too) I cant and wont do that - sorry. Truth hurts but someitmes we need to feel that hurt to get better. Your decision. If not, like katie wrote, then a trip up the hospital is the only alternative! Your call. FF xxx
I have just re-read your comment Agatha. When I read them first thing this morning I didnt have much time to reply - hence the crap typing and garbled comments. Now having digested YOUR comments again a little more, I dont feel so negative about you. I have realised that whilst we have prodded, poked and goaded you, you have turned around, bared your teeth and snarled a warning howl at us all. Whilst some could see that as a (and excuse my language here) FUCK YOU attitidue, I actually see that as a postitive response. I am sure you would like us all to feel sorry for you, wipe your fevered brow and tell you not to worry, that its alright. But that wouldnt help you any. Not if you TRULY want to talk, communicate, laugh, live and love with people. So I think (and it IS only MY thoughts) that you didnt like what you read, that we were the school bullies if you like. I promise on my life that is not what I ever intended to be. But gee God girl, you would try the patience of a Saint. But no, you found yourself backed into a corner, and you didnt turn away. You bit back!! So well done you - that proves to me (and you) that you DO care, and most of all, that you CAN do something about all of this. So if you want to learn to communicate better (and better would be good) I think, we may, just may, be getting on that journey. Well granted, we probably havent opened the door yet- but heck we seem to have at least got our coat on and handbag at the ready.
So if you would care to comment on any of this I would LOVE to hear them. Though of course, it may be that you simply want me to bugger off. But I have heard that paralysed limbs can be made to get feeling back into them - you just need faith. Do you have that faith? For what its worth I really hope you do.
FF xx
AND FROM THIS DAY FORWARD, PLEASE PROMISE N E V E R TO DELETE ANOTHER POST. If you think something could be taken a wrong way - write another. First thoughts should always be left. Its no good to you to write a post and then delete it - thinking better of it. Whois to say that your first post wasnt better than the one you actually left on? OK? x
And you would be right FF, from the posts the other day, I was in two minds say nothing which would be my normal controlled state - or as I did comment albeit with a pissed off attitude because I was as I didnt like what I read. I dont want people to lie and say everythings hunky dory or feel sorry for me etc - whats the point, and yes I know I must try everyones patience and yes I am failing miserably at communicating - I know what my failings are in life but I am trying
Ok....You started - please dont tell me you have finished!! That should have been your opening paragraph not a statement of truth. I wrote reams in my last post to you...please please please please please please please
P L E A S E P L E A S E write some more. You have told us what you had been feeling, acknowledged that you didnt want or need to hear lies with us saying you are doing well when you weren't.... but then you stopped.It was a bit like watching a video of a film that you have been waiting to watch and then it ending just before the closing scene cos the tape wasn't long enough!! Come on... you are getting better....but you cant stop now cos you are just starting.
And I can almost smell the fear, the thoughts of "oh my God, what can I say, I cant think of anything"!
Well to make it easy tell us what you are doing tonight? Watching anything on the TV? What is on the menu for supper? How are the Bills - up to date? And then, throw in a random comment just for the hell of it like (but you cant use this one) ooh my favourite colour is yellow. Yes, I know its boring, Yes I know its everyday same old same old - but thats all any of us have to talk about TBH and it works for us........ Do NOT retreat back into your shell ok? And do NOT DELETE. LOL. FF xx
Yep it should have been longer, however I am still smarting, sulking and pissed off from the previous posts
AGATHA - you need a damn good thrashing.
Peter, get a bloody grip
FF, I will email you tonight, have been laid up with ear and chest infection so have only popped on line now and then. xxxxx
Well if you are going to behave like a spoilt child then I am finished here. You should be careful what you wish for. I feel quite insulted to be honest. No in fact I feel very insulted and very hurt. So thats something else you can feel pissed off about - cos thats how you have made ME feel. FF
FF, obviously my last comment has hurt, insulted and pissed you off - I dont know what I said to do that, however its irrelevant as I have and for that I apologise that was not my intention at all, sorry.
I wrote the comment and posted as it was what I was thinking and I didnt delete or triple check, I just plain old posted it as I'm trying to do but I obviously got it really wrong and should have thought a bit more.
I am also feeling hurt and a bit fucked off - it didnt mean to come across as being a spoilt child.
Agatha
FF, obviously my last comment has hurt, insulted and pissed you off - I dont know what I said to do that, however its irrelevant as I have and for that I apologise that was not my intention at all, sorry.
I wrote the comment and posted as it was what I was thinking and I didnt delete or triple check, I just plain old posted it as I'm trying to do but I obviously got it really wrong and should have thought a bit more.
I am also feeling hurt and a bit fucked off - it didnt mean to come across as being a spoilt child.
Agatha
"You dont know what you said to to do that"? Well here is a "copy and paste" of what you said.....
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"Yep it should have been longer, however I am still smarting, sulking and pissed off from the previous posts"
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If you can be pissed off when someone bends over backwards to help you and you answer like that, and then have the audacity to say you dont understand - then you must be from some other planet.
I actually dont believe you when you say you cant communicate. You just dont want to. You work in Finance in the City. You could not do a job of any decency without having good communication skills. Quite the contrary. You need to be outgoing and upbeat and a real go getter with can do attitude. Dont insult my (or the others) intelligence by saying you dont communicate at work cos frankly that is bull shit. You would have had an interview, unless your a bloody cleaner. You need to come across well in these otherwise you wouldnt get a look in. So get real and get a life and stop saying all this rubbish cos it no longer washes. If you just want to be "punished" then admit it and go with it. Nothing wrong there, but please dont say you need to be punished cos you have all of these issues. We all have issue - its called life!
So I really wish you well in whatever you end up doing, but I have to go now cos I have a Hospital appointment to keep!
I will probably drop by to see how things are going but I suspect not a lot. And that makes me sad.....FF
FF - I apologised, and as explained I gave an honest answer and for that I'm sorry and wish I'd hit the delete key now.
Actually you're wrong there I cant communicate, it isnt a question of not wanting to its a question of having no idea how to, but Peter would be best to answer. I do work in the City I do not work in Finance I work for a private Firm and in the job I perform I do not need to have a level of outstanding comm skills for my job, they did not hire me for that - they head hunted me for the skills I can bring to the Firm, when you are head hunted they dont care if you have 2 heads or 12 eyes, so please do not insult my intelligence - I have in no shape or form insulted anyones intelligence.
Yes we all have issues and yes it is called life, I dont disagree with you.
Anyway FF, all thats left for me to say is I wish you well and thank you very much for all the posts, encouragement and laughs, I have truly enjoyed it, obviously this is all ending on a sour note and that is sad as the aims of this blog for me was to learn to communicate, to try and make some friends, to share and to enjoy it - think unfortunately I failed in all cases. Anyway as I say I do wish you all the best and its a shame I couldnt explain myself better to you so you could get to know me and that is my fault.
I get the fair impression which I completely understand that you wont take as much an active role as you have if any, I would still like you to and to perhaps give me chance, if you dont ask you dont get so ....
Agatha
Well lets start with saying that Katies suggestion makes no sense at all, what we should do is email each other and not try to communicate outside that circle, but that is the opposite of what I seek, that Agatha learns to communicate with others.
The main issue for me is the failure to communicate beyond bullet points and the avoidance of any emotional content at all.
At least in the last few posts there was some feeling, the wrong kind perhaps, but feeling nonetheless.
Oh and katie, please don't tell me to "get a grip" when you do not know the full story and yes that is my fault as much as Agatha's but I do not wish to dominate this blog, would be too easy a way out.
Agatha... I will continue to read and if you give me something to reply to I will. So never say never is my motto. I would be happy to talk to you - as in talk but that is your choice. Peter has my number and I am happy for you to have it to text me and then maybe (shock horror) we could have a chat. But like i said - its up to you... Now..where did I put the morphine (surgery sure does hurt). LOL. FF
Sure Ok - my email address is donj869@yahoo.co.uk, you can send your cell number to that address if thats Ok with you
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